(A gift from her who always accompany me when playing games "Baby" )

Can say now we're back like 100% happy with funny jokes around , sharing , teaching , teasing and playing with each other.

I'd think a lot after she mention the "cursed" words to me last time . But since it's back to normal .. I'm very happy about it .. and this time I'll do even more better then last time , fix what I did wrong and improve what I did right .

I wonder , why bi still don't want to say the words sometimes .. Even I keep repeating the words "I love you", bi just reply me with a kisses sound .. But soon bi will say it out.. Slowly on this (Gambateh to my self)

Nowadays , I really don't play or facing PC a lot like I did before. More with books and books.. I love reading books since I'ma small boy , but after playing games .. =P no more time to spare with books =3 Sorry mom XD

She love the present I sent to her , and I'm so happy she like it =P

4 more days to go.. wish our date went excellent yah guys :P *prays*

Lots of love.. Just for you , My Dear , My Heart , My Life , My Star ~*

(we're alike, you sick & I'm sick too, even this photo describe us well)

We're back together.. can say like , almost 90% back to normal..

she still having her exams, 2 more papers need to be done . *hugs* (all the best hun)

While me , I'm still scared as usual.. Can't expect whats coming ... but I hope , the dark clouds that appears before won't ever come again.. *prays* I've lost my bravery ..

Well , I'm now starting to focus on my educations back .. it's been 2 years I've took a break from studying .. needa back focusing on books back soon. So , this is the last year I'm going to be "Joe Hesleys" or Creator and President of Generation Clanx , I'll pass over to someone else that might can take care of the club like I've been looking for these past 3 years.. I've someone need to focus for 110% , no more games in future too hehes.. I might lost contact with you guys here . But the memories we had together , will always be in my heart ^^

For my baby , you are always cute to me.. I told you this , and you said no .. but the truth can't be change.. you're the only girl that I want to be with and the girl that will always be in my heart, and will remain be there forever^^ *hug and kisses* Every time I watch other girl , my eyes.. my heart , will just thinking about you.. =p (face it cause it's the fact hehe) so mai ask me to check other girl profile in facebook.. *poke nose* =p

Dear readers , wish for our happiness yah , and wish for my study will go well cause I'm really looking forward to finish it now.

Lots of love.. Just for you , My Dear , My Heart , My Life , My Star ~*

6th day after the question

She's getting better , even she's still seems moody to chat with me , at least I can hear her laughter and it does makes me feels better . I sms her telling that I miss her voice , which I really do.. It's been almost a week we don't have a proper talk . So I called her , and we talk to each other for almost half an hour . From her voice , I notice that she seems angry at me , but she slowly will let it out . She don't want me to put down the phone , it's a sign that she's still love me . We were talking until she notice that she's late to send her mama to somewhere lol ... my baby ..

After talk with her , this time I do feel better , for 5 day I don't have enough sleep , eat , talk & laugh well . But today , I can .. I were at my mom's old house . She came down all the way from KL with dad and my youngest sister just to cheer me up . I did sleep well , till I feel like don't want to wake up anymore . Not forgot to mention , I ate a lot! (mom's cooking , you know..) .

At 6 O'clock , I've to drive back to the CC I worked to collect money about the cloth's that we're making . After reach there , I sms her , We chat back like we're before .. even she's still confuse ..

I'll slowly take her out from her confusion . At the night , I called her (her night night story) =p

We talked almost like 20 mins , because she's tired and want to go to sleep *hug her tight* . Sweet dreams baby..

She still love me , I knew that .. but the things that she think before still messing up her mind .

Baby , we'll walk it through .. slowly okay honey. Don't be sad , because I'll be sad too , but I won't show it out , cause I'm your stars.. will always shine for you when your darkest time..

*hope tomorrow will be even better*

Lots of love.. Just for you , My Dear , My Heart , My Life , My Star ~*

My Love Story..

5th Day after the question

It's still hunted me , I felt so scare even she gave me second chance . I don't know if we can get better , but I'm trying so hard to make it be better.. She's now focusing on her exam , so I suppose not to give her any pressure . I try to cheer her up, but I keep thinking about negative part. What make her out of sudden ask me, I still wish to know the reason. But I will slowly find it out , because I want to fix it if I could.

We were still taxing to each other, but she isn't like the way she are.. I miss the happy moment we had together , I feel so bad because she won't share with me her problem now a days , seems like I'm not the person that she trusted anymore , like before .. I'll be the person she will share her thoughts nor problem..

I miss you say "I love you bi" and the kisses you gave to me after any message. Even it's not really a big issue for someone , but it does for me.. the status on your facebook doesn't show that you're in relationship , why? I thought I have the second chance.

But on the 5th day after she and I were like on the end of our road , she slowly reply my message , with a topic . I hope it's not too late , I'm getting sick days by days . I can't sleep for the past 5 days , I keep vomiting , I can't have a perfect smile , I can't talk with anybody around me , I can't hold things properly.. my hands keep shaking.. shaking because I'm scare what will happen next, and I'm scare to lose you...

You act like there's nothing happen , but I knew , deep inside your heart.. you do love me.. For the years we passed together , walking happily on the same road. I wish I can take you with me , continue with our journey , because I'm scared to walk alone.

I love you so much . If there anything I could help , I want to help . Give me some trust . Don't be afraid if I found out the truth and it will hurt me, I'm scared if I don't find out the truth..

Dear readers , I love her so much .. everyone knows that.. Please help me if you have a way. I love my baby more then my life.

Lots of Love.. Just for you , My Dear , My Heart , My Life , My Star...

My Love Story

Even before this I told ya that I'm not going to type anything , but I changed my mind.

I want to tell you readers about my dear girlfriend.

I meet her in SDO-X (game) at the year of 2007

She is my very best friend on that time. After awhile we been couple for only 1 months + because she had another boy. I let her go because I know , it's hard for me to get her so , for her own happiness I should so that I'll happy to see the people I loved be happy , even not with me.

After like few months I didn't chat with her . I cant stop thinking about her , after awhile.. I pm her MSN , and tell that I just want to be friend with her as we were before. She agreed and I'm so happy even a bit sad hehe.. and again I'm getting close with her and I ask to be her brother again, and she agreed too ^^. Soon after that , she and her boyfriend that time broke up . So I try to cheer her up making her think about something.. Finally she managed to do so.. ^^

For 2 years plus I've been with her , always chat and help her with her problem , listen her story , making silly jokes . I never even once make her feel sad.. And she after awhile , can't stay if not chatting with me for a days.

Now she's 18 just finish SPM, and went into a Taylor's College Sri Hartamas at 2009. She just steps into a busy life , assignments , presentations & homeworks . But still I'll never left her , cheer her up , telling jokes , help on her assignments , and give inspiration for her.

Days passed , and she knew a guy .. they were being close together .. I'm a bit jealous .. but think back , there's no way for me to get her .. we're diff race tho , plus I'm far away lol. For her happiness ! I shouldn't stop her from being happy.. until her College are about on the last week , she told me that the guy asked her to be his girlfriend. But she decline.. because of some reason.. quite LC perhaps.. So I help my mui get her spirit back because I don't like to see her sad!

After that , we're getting very close to each others.. until on 24th of November 2009 I asked her to be my girl.. and know what guys? She did agree to be my girl! happiest day of my life! haha..

We promised to be with each other till the end of our life because we're tired .. and we are not interested to find anyone else already! Any problem will come ahead we will face together.. Cause we knew , there's lot to come =)

For the last 5 months I'm being with her.. it's the most happiest moment of my life , I thought I won't feel it anymore.. But with her.. I do :P every single day!

She never forget to wake me up, or sms me more then anybody possible do. but these two days , she seem change . Her blog that always write "Bi - hug & kisses" isn't there anymore. I thought she was stressed with her final exams. So I told her it's ok.

But........

On the 9th of April , I got a message from her.. telling me that she keep thinking about our future.. and asking for break up.. That time , I was with my friends.. And I... was shocked .. I ran out from the cyber cafe , sat beside the road , try to call her , she don't want to pick up.. I'm very scared that time , out of sudden she ask me this.. I'm confuse , scare , and I can't think well that time.. feel so mess up in my mind.. I even did jogging to chill down..

She said , she can't accept that she's going to be a Muslim.. and I wouldn't too if I'm on her place , she said..

Baby , I don't ask you to be.. if you don't want too.. We still have time.... "you can't fall in love if you don't know" beside, we're still young.. we're not going to get married tomorrow or next year.. it's going to be years to come.. I promised you that I'll make you happy , because I knew .. I can make you happy..

I never cry for 5 years .. And I did cry so bad because I scare of loosing you.. you took all my heart, not even a piece you left for me.. I can't take it back if you giving back too.. because I only can be alive if my heart are with you.. Don't give it back to me.. Please.... I never bag to anyone before.. You are the 1st .. Please baby.. We got time.. If there's a 3rd people who tried to mess up our relationship.. Don't listen to them.. Because We are for what we want to be... it's not them who to decide for us.. Our happiness , We decide.. I love you because not you're this or you are that.. I love you because you are Li Shan!

Love is blind , but we're the eyes.. Like I said , any relationship wont work well if there is not "trust".. So trust me because I trust you..

I'm still standing now , because I've lots of people who did come to me , giving me support and tips to get you back.. I don't know how to continue my life without you being around me.I really don't ......... I.. Love...You... Please don't dump me again... I've waited for so long... I really hope that we will be together no matter what will happen.. my waiting will not be a waste..

A message from my mom " my baby boy , don't do something stupid ok , you got people love you here.. take care dear , we love you" . I love you mom . I hope too that nothing will happen to me..

Lots of Love.. Just for you , My Dear , My Heart , My Life , My Star...